12 must-watch episodes of ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’
From its beginnings on local Minnesota TV, Mystery Science Theater 3000 became one of the funniest shows on TV. Thanks to a dedicated fanbase constantly sharing tapes of episodes, MST3K stayed on the air for 10 seasons, airing on the Comedy Channel, Comedy Central, and the Sci-Fi Channel. It then got a Netflix revival in 2017 which only lasted two seasons, followed by 13 crowdfunded episodes on Gizmoplex. Unfortunately creator Joel Hodgson’s subsequent crowdfunding campaign for a 14th season failed to reach its $ 4 million goal, so it seems this is it for now.
Before you watch the Netflix and Gizmoplex episodes, sink your teeth into these 12 episodes. While the entire series is worth watching, 10 years of television pre-reboot is a lot to ask someone to sit through. In addition to being a good time, these episodes will familiarize you with some recurring jokes. There are a lot.
Most of the MST3K catalog is included with a Shout! Factory TV subscription, which you can get ad-free for an extra $ 2.99 per month on top of your Prime Video subscription. You can also watch it free with ads directly on Shout! Factory.
1. “The Side Hackers”
The first season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a little slow. The show was still trying to find its voice. The riffs were lighter, letting the movies fail for themselves a little more. The chemistry between Joel and the bots wasn’t quite there yet either. It was still a fun show, but the first season doesn’t hold up to what the series became. “Side Hackers,” episode 2 of Season 2, is where the show found its voice. Joel finds the line between being a parent to the bots and joining in on the fun. The host segments are some of the most fun of the series, with the “Side Hacking Song” being one of the funniest musical host segments of the series.
The movie itself is the bleakest, most distasteful piece of crap ever featured on the show. It was added to the season before the writers had finished watching the entire thing. The uncut movie includes a horrific rape/murder scene that was edited from the movie for the episode, as it was too late to scrap it altogether. From this movie on, the writers had to watch a movie in its entirety before deciding to use it on the show. Despite the heavy ending, the rest of the movie is the most ridiculous, silliest-looking thing ever put on screen. Every character is both utterly despicable and incredibly stupid. The fake sport of Sidehacking involves dangling off the sidecar of a motorcycle. The riffs during the racing scenes are some of the series’s funniest. Even Cambot gets one in, superimposing an ESPN-style Bordom vs. Movie box score over the “action.” Boredom comes out way ahead.
2. “Pod People”
“It stinks!” Not only is it an accurate description of the movie, it becomes a running joke that almost lasts the entire rest of the series. It comes from a scene where a group of teenage musicians are recording a song with unintelligible lyrics. After they finish, the singers ask the leader of the group what he thinks. He throws up the “OK” sign and says, “It stinks.” Later, Joel and the Bots reenact the scene with their own version of the song and Joel providing the line. A classic joke is born.
The rest of the movie is a convoluted mess. It’s so bad; Tom Servo actually apologizes for the plot. It was originally supposed to be a movie about evil alien invaders. After the success of E.T., the movie’s writers were ordered to change the script at the last minute. A plot about a friendly alien befriending a young boy was added, and boy does it feel rushed. Since the movie is so bad, the riffs are that much funnier. The alien’s powers don’t make any sense, leading to the snort-inducing line, “Trumpy, you can do stupid things!” from Joel. “Pod People” is one of the series’s best episodes, but the birth of one of MST3K‘s best running gags is the real reason to watch this one.
3. “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”
The 21st episode of Season 3 was MST3K‘s first Christmas episode. “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” is a weird, campy kids’ movie about a group of Martians who want to capture Santa Claus for their own children. It stars a well-meaning martian named Kimar, and a dopey, lazy martian named Dropo. They kidnap the particularly loopy Santa Claus along with a couple of Earth children. On Mars, Santa builds a toy workshop and, after dealing with a warlike Martian out to kill them, make Dropo Mars’s new Santa. It is the cheesiest of cheesy movies, whose attempts at comedy fall so flat, having Joel and the bots there is a necessity. Particularly great are the jokes about how Santa’s whimsy borders on the intoxicated in the movie.
This episode also has the best musical host segment in the history of the series. After a tangent about the movie Roadhouse, Crow composes the song “A Patrick Swayze Christmas.” It’s the only Christmas song in existence that contains an action sequence. And yes, I play it every year.
4. “Manos: The Hands of Fate”
The 24th episode of Season 4 features the absolute worst movie Joel and the bots were ever subjected too. On a technical level, it’s the worst film ever shown on the series, which is an achievement. The movie is so bad it should be taught in film schools as a perfect example of what not to do when you make a movie. Written by a fertilizer salesman in 1966, Manos: The Hands of Fate is about a family on a road trip who stay in a strange house, tended to by an even stranger man. Torgo, who tends to the house while the master is away, limps around the house and mumbles his lines in an off-putting (for the wrong reasons) voice. Most of the dialogue sounds wrong, as all the audio in this movie was recorded in post-production. An early scene between the father and a cop has the same actor recording both parts. The rest of the movie is full of weird cuts and awful pacing.
Naturally, such a terrible movie leads to some of the best comments from Joel and the bots. Most of them come at the expense of the movie’s terrible pacing. At one point, it drives Joel crazy enough to lash out. In an extended scene where Torgo wakes up, and nothing happens, Joel breaks. “Do something! God!”
5. “Eegah!”
“Watch out for snakes!” Here’s another line that became an enduring presence for the rest of the series. Joel and the bots are subjected to a movie about a few teenagers who come across a caveman out in the middle of nowhere. The famous line comes from the scene where the girl who first encountered the caveman leads her father and boyfriend out to the desert to search for him. When the father walks away, the line “Watch out for snakes!” seems to come from nowhere. No one’s mouth is moving; it doesn’t come from any direction, it’s just awkwardly dubbed in. Joel and the bots would go on to repeat the line whenever it seemed appropriate in future movies.
The movie itself is strange, nonsensical and incompetently made. It’s perfect for the MST3K treatment. Joel and the bots get a lot of mileage out of star Arch Hall Jr.’s… odd looks. “It looks like it hurts to be him” might be the most accurate comment ever uttered on the show. There’s also some not-so-familial chemistry between father and daughter that makes everyone hilariously uncomfortable.
6. “Mitchell”
The 12th episode of Season 5 is notable for being Joel’s final episode and the introduction of Mike Nelson as the new host. The Mads hire a new temp who gets on their nerves immediately. In a scene parodying 2001: A Space Odyssey, GPC reads the lips of the Mads while the discuss how to fire Mike. Thinking they’re talking about killing Joel, GPC activates an escape pod and sends Joel down to Earth. Since the Mads need a new test subject, they can no longer fire Mike. Instead, they ask what size jumpsuit he wears. According to the theme song after this episode, they then conked him on the noggin and shot him into space.
The film they watch is proof that even an anti-hero cop movie can be boring. A lot of great riffs come from the fact that Mitchell is the most lethargic, slowest movie cop anyone’s ever seen. This movie is also home to the least exciting car chase you’ll ever watch. Even the music accompanying it is boring. Star Joe Don Baker reportedly hated the fact that MST3K made fun of this movie. His hostility towards the treatment led the show to later feature another Baker vehicle and launch even more vicious insults at the actor. Mike Nelson later theorized that Baker was more angered by constantly being asked about the episode than the episode itself. Whatever the case, the fact that an episode of TV made an actor that mad automatically makes it a must-watch.
7. “Santa Claus”
MST3K‘s other Christmas episode is a classic for entirely different reasons than Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. For the 21st episode of Season 5, Mike and the bots watch the nightmare-inducing Mexican classic Santa Claus. In this movie, Santa lives in a castle in space where children from all over the world make toys for him. He rides robotic reindeer that will haunt your dreams forever. Throughout the movie, he is hindered by a demon named Pitch, who is out to turn good children into bad ones. He tries a few different and baffling methods, including pushing a chimney over a couple of feet. It isn’t very effective. Santa is also the slowest Santa Clause in any movie. In the entire night, he doesn’t manage to visit more than four kids.
The host segments, as in the last Christmas episode, are all pretty great too. Particularly the politically correct holiday anthem, “Merry Christmas… If That’s Okay.” Also, this episode contains some references to Mitchell, so it’s a good thing you watched that one too.
8. “Space Mutiny”
Now we’re firmly in the Sci-fi Channel era, where Mike and the bots are being held captive by Dr. Forrester’s mother, Pearl. This time, they’re subjected to a Star Wars ripoff with battle scenes pulled straight from the 1978 Battlestar Galactica series. Sadly, the writers didn’t realize that until after the episode aired. Still, the movie is the campiest ’80s-looking thing modern televisions are capable of displaying. Be ready for big hair and bigger padded costumes. There is just so much to make fun of here; it made this episode one of the funniest of the series. From jokes about how everyone dies by falling off guardrails to alternative names for the bulky protagonist Dave Ryder. Slap Bulkhead, Fridge Largemeat, and Big McLargeHuge are a few favorites. This episode also features the bots ragging on Mike for being nostalgic for the 1980s, a decade that, if this movie is anything to go by, completely sucked.
9. “Time Chasers”
Probably one of the most watchable movies the crew of the Satellite of Love has to sit through. Time Chasers was made in 1994, but you’d never know it. With all the pink shirts and shoulder pads, I could have sworn this was an ’80s movie. What makes this one a spectacular failure of imagination (or budget… or both) is that the main characters travel to the future and all the fashions are the same as when they left. The hero of the movie is also incredibly wimpy-looking for an action movie. One of the funniest parts of the episode involves the hosts’ disbelief that Matthew Bruch is actually the star of the movie. The incredibly silly time-hopping adventure would be fun to watch even without the MST3K commentary. The experience is just infinitely enhanced with it. From the cartoonishly evil antagonist to the awkwardly shot “action” sequences, there’s an endless supply of filmmaking incompetence to make fun of here.
10. “The Final Sacrifice”
Hands down, this is my absolute favorite episode. It’s the one I can watch over and over again and still be doubled over in fits of laughter. First of all, the movie is the cheesiest, most Canadian occult thriller ever made. Second, of all, ever character has a strange voice that you can’t help but laugh at. There’s the geeky kid protagonist who has a million different ways of saying “Rowsdower,” the name of the closest thing this movie has to a hero. He also has a strange enthusiasm for random food he comes across in a cabin. There’s an old fugitive who sounds exactly like Yosemite Sam. The plot is a weird, ultimately pointless tale about a kid and a drifter running up against a satanic cult. It also takes place seven years after… the opening credits. There is just so much about this movie that doesn’t make sense; the riffs are some of the best in the entire series. Also, Zap Rowsdower is still the best action hero name I’ve ever heard.
11. “Soultaker”
The first episode of the final pre-revival season celebrated the show’s 10th anniversary by bringing back two fan favorite characters. The Satellite of Love starts to malfunction, and there’s a strange ship heading towards it. In between watching the movie (which is a wonderfully melodramatic supernatural horror flick), Joel and TV’s Frank make guest appearances. It turns out Joel kicked around Australia for a bit after escaping from the satellite, before ending up back in Minnesota. Since the Satellite of Love is designed to break down after 10 years, he came back to fix it. He doesn’t rescue Mike and the Bots because not only do they still have another season to complete; he doesn’t want to deprive Mike of the formative experience that was riffing on bad movies for years. Also, he doesn’t want to. He also makes a great joke about Crow’s voice sounding different. Trace Beaulieu, who played Dr. Forrester and Crow in the early seasons had long since left the show. Bill Corbett then took over the voice of Crow.
The movie is an incredibly cheesy tale of teenagers who try to escape the Soultakers, agents of death who have selected them to die. Two of them end up in comas in the hospital, with their parents planning to take them off life support at midnight. Their out-of-body spirits need to escape the Soultakers trying to collect them, and somehow convince their parents to keep them alive. One particularly funny thing that Mike and the bots pick up on is that the movie has no internal logic. The rules for souls aren’t consistent, sometimes having to obey the laws of the physical world, and sometimes not. It’s a funny episode in general, but the real draw here is seeing Joel return to the Satellite of Love.
12. “Squirm”
If “The Final Sacrifice” is the best episode of the Mike era, “Squirm” might be the second best. The movie is like Tremors with regular-sized worms and none of the comedy. If that sounds like it would make for a terrible movie, you’re absolutely right. The hero is an awkward-looking dork from New York who constantly makes an ass of himself in this small southern town. What is with these movies and trying to make awkward schlubs into action heroes? The movie makes a big deal early on about how strange and inconsiderate he is for asking for an egg cream in the south. It’s a weird thing to call out, and it’s never brought up again. The fact that this movie takes place in the south is constantly shoved in your face, leading Tom Servo to exclaim, “nobody’s THAT southern.”
The real draw of this episode is the short that precedes the movie. A Case of Spring Fever is a strange little Jam Handy short about the importance of springs in our daily life. A man gets frustrated by having to fix things with springs in them and wishes he’d never see a spring again in his life. A cartoon sprite named Coily shows him a world without springs. Nothing works as intended and the man begs to have springs back in the world. It’s a terrifying little short that makes you wonder why it was ever made in the first place. Curiously, multiple references to Coily pop up throughout the series before the bots ever saw “A Case of Spring Fever.” Most notably, they meet Wally the Waffle Sprite in Season 3. The reason behind this odd continuity error is that the crew wanted to use the short in the show since the beginning. They weren’t able to get the rights until the final season.
Honorable Mentions
“The Crawling Eye” The pilot episode (not counting the local Minnesota TV days) is worth watching just to see how it all began. The show was still finding its voice, so the tone is more subdued. The riffs don’t come as frequently as they do in later episodes. Still, this and the final episode serve as decent bookends to the series.
“I Accuse my Parents” A 1944 cautionary tale about a good kid turning bad, all because his parents don’t pay attention to him. It’s one of the great episodes of the Joel era, with the moral panic of the era making for some hilarious comments at its expense.
“Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie/This Island Earth” Not technically an episode, but a theatrically released movie. Due to focus testing, Universal ordered it be cut short, so at just over an hour long, it’s actually shorter than a standard episode. Mike and the bots take the opportunity to get a little bluer with their jokes, and This Island Earth might be the best movie on its own they ever watched. Not that that’s saying much. This is worth watching if you want to see what MST3K looks like given a larger budget to work with.
“Mr. B’s Lost Shorts” This one’s not really an episode either. The shorts before the movies are some of the best segments in all of MST3K. This collection will ensure you see the most essential ones. Originally a VHS tape sent out to members of the fan club; this collection was included in the Volume 6 DVD set released by Rhino. You can probably also find all the shorts on YouTube. The “Mr. B Natural” short is required viewing for any MST3K fan.
“Danger: Diabolik!”
The final episode of the series’s original run. It’s a fine conclusion to the series and a funny episode with a terrible movie in its own right. You’ll appreciate the ending much more if you’ve seen “The Crawling Eye.”
This story originally appeared on Geek.
UPDATE: Dec. 11, 2023, 11:43 a.m. AEDT This article was originally published in Apr. 2020, and has since been updated in Dec. 2023.