Yes, WFH sex is a thing. No, it isn’t a big deal.
If you’ve been on the dreaded “X” lately (RIP Twitter) then you’ll have likely witnessed conversations surrounding an interesting piece of research, claiming that remote workers sure love shagging during their work day.
The research, provided by printer ink and toner provider TonerGiant, claims that one in eight British people have had sex on company time while working from home, while others have slept or carried out DIY on the clock. Millennials – those aged between 28 and 40 – were the most likely to have sex while working from home, the research found.
It was the sex aspect that most people zoned in on in the discourse that unfolded online. Some outlets reported that sex is what workers are “really doing at home” and suggested that this may have something to do with the chancellor urging workers to return to the office. Some social media users were quick to comment on how “desperate” some people must be if they’re having sex during work hours, while others complained that they personally were working hard, and that these anonymous workers having sex on the clock were “ruining remote working for everyone else.” Others found it hard to believe that this many people were actually having sex while working from home at all.
Ground rules for WFH sex
If you are going to have sex while working from home, it’s probably best to:
-
Leave your laptop in another room.
-
Not let your WFH sex interfere with your ability to do your work.
-
Never, under any circumstances, have sex while off camera mid-meeting.
Want more sex and dating stories in your inbox? Sign up for Mashable’s new weekly After Dark newsletter.
It’s clear that sex shame has played a part in the moral panic employers and workers (the ones who aren’t having sex during work time) have displayed. It seems that employers aren’t taking as much issue with the DIY and napping found in the same survey. Plus, 52 percent of smokers and vapers have regular smoke breaks while on the job, per a study by Haypp UK, a company that sells tobacco-free nicotine pouches. Another study from coffee company Nespresso also found that 53 percent of office employees take at least one coffee break a day.
Never, under any circumstances, have sex while off camera mid-meeting.
Most office workers are taking multiple short breaks to recharge. In fact, it’s recommended that office workers do this. Health and Safety Executive, a UK government agency for official health advice, says workers who use computers should be taking breaks of around 10 minutes every hour, or 20 minutes every two hours. As the average penis-in-vagina sex lasts for 7 minutes (there’s not a lot of research for many other types of sex), that’s plenty of time for a mid-work sex session.
It’s also important to keep in mind that it’s convenient for employers to have their workers in the office for all the wrong reasons. Remote working is doable. Many of us working in professional sectors, such as office jobs, just did it for the best part of two years due to the COVID-19 pandemic. But although it’s doable, and actually comes with benefits beyond getting to work in your pjs a short walk from your fridge — such as disability inclusivity in the workplace, better work-life balances and improved employee mental health by extension — it would be easier for your boss to have you where they can spy on you.
Because of this, there’s always going to be bias in these employer-led conversations about remote working. And what better way to attach shame and scepticism to a concept than attach overt sexual behaviour to it?
Sex during work time isn’t a new thing
The thing is, remote working has nothing to do with this influx in work sex. In fact, remote working is the one thing making sure it isn’t happening in the actual workplace. According to population-representative pre-pandemic research from 2013, via Business Insider, 54 percent of office workers had sex with a colleague back then. The sample was over 2,500 people, and around half of those people who had sex with a co-worker did so in the actual office. Another study adds that 19 percent of factory workers admitted to partaking in sexual activity on the job, followed by 16 percent of office workers, 15 percent of bar staff and 13 percent of shop assistants. So, yeah. People of all job titles like to have sex at work whether we’re working from our homes or on site.
Having dug into the data behind the TonerGiant research, only 12 percent of respondents even said they had sex while they were remote working. More participants said they did household chores and gardened (so… they did more work) or played on a games console on company time, but those activities somehow didn’t make the headlines, nor the social media based outrage that followed.
Ness Cooper, a therapist and resident sexologist for sex toy company jejoue.com, says employers simply need to realise that many people work differently. Some may take more breaks than others, and some of those breaks might be used for a quickie, but it doesn’t always result in less productivity. “Some people may be more productive when working different work schedules and times, and more hours doesn’t always lead to better results. The focus for employers should be the end results, rather than worrying if people are taking the odd private and consensual break that may involve sex,” she tells Mashable.
Positives all round
Cooper notes that sex can help manage stress and if work has been stressful, it makes sense that some people will be having sex at home in private whilst on their work shift. “One of the biggest issues couples experience is mismatched times for when they can have sex. Having sex during the work day may be just the opportunity they need to find time to have sex together,” she explains.
As long as sex isn’t getting in the way of employees delivering their work on time and the sex they are having is private and consensual it really shouldn’t matter if they’re having sex during work or not.
She adds that if home working makes it easier for cohabiting couples to find time for sex, this could even make them better employees. Not that that should ever be what sex is about, but if employers are going to moan about the idea of it, Cooper explains that sex increases emotional intelligence which helps with work disputes and empathy with other employees. Sex also provides endorphins, and employees may be generally happier at work if their schedule allows for that intimacy with their partner.
“It may even be that employees finish their projects more officially so they can carve time for sex with their partner,” she says, adding that sex also alleviates work boredom, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
She adds that, as long as sex isn’t getting in the way of employees delivering their work on time and the sex they are having is private and consensual it really shouldn’t matter if they’re having sex during work or not.
Employers and the social media users echoing them would ironically be more productive, Cooper says, if they weren’t wasting time worrying about which of their employees have had sex in their own house today.
She adds that while people may dismiss sex as unimportant compared to other life experiences, such as work, the fact that people have time to have sex in the middle of their weighty to-do list says a lot about how remote working has helped our intimate relationships. “With remote working, our lifestyles allow for more sex to be possible,” she says. That should be seen as an accomplishment for work culture.
Many people were pleased about the transition to work from home because of the time they had to put into their relationships. Sex is a part of charging that intimacy, whether the capitalists up top like it or not. Let us be clear: as long as you’re not literally in a Zoom meeting, you can have sex while you’re remote working. It’s no one else’s business.